|
July 2005 Peace be with you... It is wonderful to be able to write to you again. I pray that you were able to read my first letter and in so doing have come to know a bit about my journey to Christ. For this, my second letter, I would like to reflect upon the role of the Divine Mercy Centre in my life. I first heard of the Divine Mercy Centre through a very close family friend - Carol (who was also instrumental in my trip to Medjugorje). She had been to visit the Centre and was keen for me to experience the tranquility of the property and meet Willy and Theresa, the founders. Moreover, I believe Carol knew that I would experience spiritual renewal through time spent in prayer, through pondering the mercy of Christ and in meditating upon the message of St. Faustina, while I visited. Thus, in July of 2000, my mom, Carol and I took a long weekend and made the 2 hour drive to Lanark, Ontario; the timing of my visit to the Centre could not have been more providential. It was early afternoon when we arrived at the Centre and I remember thinking how beautiful the surroundings were – tranquility abounded. We soon met up with Willy and Theresa. I was in awe of the life that they were (and are) living – their utter trust and reliance in God's providence continues to inspire me. After receiving our room assignment and tour of the Centre, we had a time of prayer in the chapel followed by an opportunity to chat with and receive spiritual direction from Willy. I was unsure of what to make of this time together - how could I discuss struggles going on in the depths of my heart, with someone I did not even know? At that point in time, I had finished my first year of university and although it had not even been a year since I had come to know Christ and His Church (Oct 1999), I had fallen into old ways while away at school. However, there was a difference this time – my conscience was heightened and God was letting me know that I could not “serve two masters”(Lk 6:13): in my case - God and drugs. Thus, in the summer of 2000, I was experiencing great inner turmoil; I knew I had to once again turn my whole life over to God yet I felt pulled back into my old lifestyle and moreover I felt unworthy to turn my face once again to Christ. After my conversion had occurred I felt so incredibly close to God and did not imagine that I could ever fall away from Him again. Yet I had and I felt the weight of this on my heart. I knew God was asking me to turn to Him once again, yet I did not know how I could after abandoning all that He had given to me; I truly had not yet come to understand the merciful heart of Christ. Enter Willy and our conversation… It took a little while but I soon realized that when people of deep faith are gathered together there is no such thing as being strangers. With this realization I was slowly able to open myself up to Willy – explaining my recent conversion and what had happened in my life since heading off to university. It was incredibly humbling but also incredibly healing. It was during this conversation that Willy revealed the mercy of God. I came to understand that God has infinite love for me and all people - that He desires to shower us with His love and forgiveness – all we must do is actively turn our hearts and lives to Him. Willy, at that moment in time, was the merciful heart of Jesus to me. I came to recognize that I had to ignore the inner voices of deception and instead focus on the voice that was gently calling me to forgive myself and to recognize that I was forgiven. This is the mercy of Christ. This is why He suffered for the sake of the world, so that we may come to know the height and depth of true love, forgiveness and selflessness for the sake of another. After our conversation Willy asked me if I had ever read St. Faustina's Diary, (For more information on Saint Faustina go to: http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintf28.htm) I hadn't. So he lent it to me for the remainder of my stay. I took some time that evening to delve into this incredibly powerful piece of writing and through the words of St. Faustina, as one who was chosen to reveal the Mercy of Christ to the world, I came to a deeper realization of the nature of the Divine Mercy Centre, their mission and the importance of allowing Christ's Mercy into my own life – constantly. After the weekend at the Centre, I came away renewed but also challenged. I recognized that my life, once again, was never going to be the same. I recognized that I had to decide for Christ and to decide for Him fully. This choice continues to be a struggle at times, however, I know with all my being that anything worth attaining is never done by the easy road – Christ demonstrated this first hand. I have continued to visit the Divine Mercy Centre every summer since the year 2000 and my understanding of Christ's Mercy has continued to deepen with each subsequent visit. The challenge to fully surrender to and live out the call of Mercy, is a process that requires much prayer, patience and trust, a process which demands that I go out of myself and become the hands and feet of Christ in this world – in word, action and presence. I am so very grateful that God allowed the Divine Mercy Centre to enter my life and through this encounter draw me into a deeper union with Him. I pray that each one of you, no matter where you are in your journey of life and faith, that you may open your hearts to experience the mercy of Christ – it begins simply by asking. Until August, Jen jencmabell@hotmail.com
|